Nursery Kids

Working in the nursery has got to be by far my favorite calling. It's so rewarding to see the little kids adjust. Most of them come in crying, and within a couple of months they're so used to the routine they ditch their parents at the door. The thing that really upsets me is when you have nursery leaders who are out of touch with the kids needs and have forgotten how to care for a toddler (most of the time it's the older ones, you know the ones that really want grandkids but it's been 20+ years since they had toddlers of their own. Mostly them, but even some of the younger ones don't seem to understand). Each child is different and needs to be treated that way. Some of them just need a hug when they come in, others need their arrival acknowledged, we even have a couple of kids in our ward who just need to be told not to cry. As I've worked in our nursery and gotten to know the kids it's easy for me to see what each of them needs. Mostly they just want their needs acknowledged. So if one is crying for their mom, instead of ignoring it you say something like "I know it's hard to be without your mom sweetheart, she'll be back after we play with some toys." And while it doesn't cure every child's fears, just letting them know you understand helps a lot to build their trust in you.

Now I think we can apply the same sort of reasoning to adults, on a different level. For me, I needed this approach to deal with some difficult relatives this past week. There are some of my in-laws that I love. But then their are some that I just didn't understand and they bugged the crap out of me. So mid-way through the week I started thinking about my nursery kids and saw a correlation between difficult adults and 2-3 year olds. Each of them has their needs, and wants to have those needs acknowledged. For instance I have one sister-in-law who for whatever reason feels neglected and therefore ends up doing the strangest things to get attention. This really bugged me, annoyed me, and plain just got on my nerves. That is until I realized what was going on and adjusted my view of, and how I treated, her. She still does these annoying things, but now instead of getting irritated I try to meet her needs by talking with her, or asking her to help me with whatever I'm doing.

I'm not going to go through my husbands entire family, but let me just say that I adjusted my perspective and understanding of most of them this last trip. My mother-in-law, father-in-law, a couple of my brothers-in-law, and a lot of the nieces and nephews. Let me tell you. It made the vacation bearable, and even a little enjoyable. Just to tweak my perspective a little here and a little there. When you take the time to understand where someone is coming from, and put yourself in their shoes, you'd be surprised how your perspective changes.

Just imagine your 18 months old, in a room with a couple of adults that you don't know. There are toys laying everywhere to play with, and lots of kids running around. You want to join in the fun but are nervous of this new place, and new faces. Your parents give you a kiss, say bye, and they leave. What thoughts go through your head? Are you excited to play with all the crazy kids and the new toys? Or are you scared to death because you don't know when your parents will be back, or who is going to take care of you specific needs? What do you need from the adults in the room? Reassuring words, "don't cry mommy will be back later," or do you just need a hug?