This is Me

My first post. I've tried this blogging thing before, but it just didn't work. So here we go again.

When I was pregnant with my little Googie, I was so excited! I couldn't wait to be a mom and do all the mommy homemaker stuff. Like sew pretty dresses, with ruffles and bows, and absolutely no flaws. Cook gourmet meals every night, with perfect balanced nutrition for my husband who slaves away at an exhausting job all day. Keep a perfect house with the toys all put away and the laundry always done. I was going to be THE perfect mom.

And I was for awhile. Googie was born and she was the most perfect little person. Prettiest baby in the entire world, the whole nursing staff said so. And I couldn't have loved her more. I struggled for the first month or so, as I'm sure all new mothers do, getting a schedule down, and figuring out how to get things done with a baby. Once I got that figured out, being a mom was easy again. I really did get bored during her naps (4 one and a half's a day!). And I couldn't believe anyone would complain about being a mom. Then Googie started moving.

She started rolling at three months old. She rolled everywhere, and once she started she didn't stop. She rolled over to the bookshelf and pulled books on top of herself. The bookshelf moved to the bedroom. She rolled over to the table and pulled the table cloth off, luckily there was nothing on it. We stopped using table cloths. Everything she got into we made some seemingly minor change so she was safe to play in her own house. With every little change my perfect life and house were disappearing. She started crawling more adjustments were made. Walking the same.

I still felt like I was being a good mom most of the time. We had dinner every night with at least three of the food groups, and the house was clean besides toys everywhere. So I was still doing well in my own mind.

Ever since she started running though. I haven't been able to keep up. My perfect dream is shattered and I can't see a way to get it back.

My house is always a disaster, unless of course Googie has been asleep for more than two hours. I rarely think about dinner more than twenty minutes ahead of time. And the laundry never ends. It is a nightmare. Some days I feel like I can't even keep up with the chores it takes to keep a house livable, let alone to make it pleasant. I know people do it, but I think they secretly have help, you know housekeepers and the like.

So this is my life.